Every time I think of the work Grace my mind goes to the National Lampoons Christmas Vacation movie where they ask the elderly aunt to say grace. The aunt replies, "Grace Died 40 Years Ago!" I know that this might sound silly but for me I think that there might be times when I feel that grace has died for me.
I have been at seminary now for a month and there have been times where I felt that grace is not there. I have felt lonely, scared, frustrated and at times down right stupid; but during those times I am finding there are people around me to minister to me. This is where grace comes in. I know that without grace this adventure would not be possible and that I would crash and burn rather quickly; but thanks to all the prayers and grace I am so far so good.
I have worked in a church setting for over 12 years and there is something that is really interesting for me, I am wonderful at ministering to others when they need to be ministered to however, it is so difficult for me to get ministered to. I sometimes feel that I am needed to be perfect and that I am not going to make mistakes while I am here and during my ministry and I always felt that if I made a mistake it was a disaster and that everything was going to crumble. This however, is not true, rather it is what have I learned from this mistake and how am I going to use this in the future. Again, this learning and understanding that making mistakes is a normal thing is an example of grace.
I am sitting in my room right now in the terrible heat (who ever said that Berkeley was cold was not telling the truth) with a hot water bottle on my back that I threw out today. I still had to go to class and to be present in class so I carried the hot water bottle with me everywhere I went and I was able to sit in class and be present without my back hurting too much. Again, this is grace!
God's grace is something that I always pray for all those in my life, the grace to love each other and the grace to love God.