Hello everyone, it has been a long time coming this blog post and I am truly sorry for the delay. I am writing this from my home in Minnesota, I am here with the pugs next to me and I am loving being home (except for the cold and NO SNOW!!). Alot has happened since my last post, I have been working as an intern at the Episcopal Church of our Saviour in Mill Valley California and I am loving every second of it. I have been able to be challenged in ways that I never thought of, I have been able to preach at least once a month and I have been able to work with the fantastic children's program. I am not saying that it is all peaches and cream but to be honest I am really loving it! With field education as well as my 5 classes this semester there are some days where I can not catch my breath; but it is through this craziness that I have been able to continue the work on my pastoral identity.
As we are in the novena up to Christmas I went back and started reflecting on what has been happening not only in my life since I entered the official seminary process in general but in my life over all. I love this website called woot.com many of you know but for those who do not it is a type of GroupOn site where they offer a deal a day in different categories. I fell in love with the T-Shirts that they offer and many of them I have, they are funny or just silly and they serve for me a reminder not to take things so seriously. Well one day I looked and the T-Shirt was this image:
As I looked at this image I laughed a little but then I went into my "theology" mind and I looked at it some more. The first two weeks of Advent offer us scripture readings that talk about John the Baptist and his infamous cry from the wilderness to make straight the path of the Lord. I kept thinking to myself mmmm has Woot followed the lectionary in publishing this T-shirt? I was struck about how windy the road it and how it seems that it must take forever to get from one place to the next. I looked at this and realized what a wonderful metaphor for life!! I think at this moment I chuckled because I thought wow it has happened I am thinking way to in depth here.
I looked at this picture and realized that this is how our lives are; no matter how much we try there are going to be twists and turns no matter where we go. So how can we follow John's decree of making straight the path of the Lord and realizing that our lives are on such a twisted road? Well what came to me is that we try! This is our job in life is to try to live our lives and try to make straight the path when we can. No matter how much we try we are not able to make the path straight every step but we are to try.
During these past few months the advent of the Occupy movement had hit it stride and like you I would read the pictures that people had taken telling their stories and talking about how they are apart of the 99%. I was amazed and moved by many of the stories many of them lead me to tears; and these stories really made me take a look at myself and my life. I had been living my life the best way that I could with my husband and our kids (2 dogs 2 cats) and we were comfortable, I was making money and we were living comfortably. Then we decided that I was to take this leap of faith and head off to seminary. I did and the dynamics have changed. We are surviving and continuing to live our live the way we know how. We took this journey together and we do not know where we are going, will I have a job? Who knows? Will a job be open in Minnesota? Who knows? There are many different questions that we are going to encounter but we continue to walk this path each day step by step.
This takes me back to the image above, we all living a world where we are initiated with people telling us that this is the way or that way that we should turn on our journeys. Sometimes we follow the sign and sometimes we do not; the road we are on is our road and it is your road as well. Taking this journey is a scary one and there might be times were we realize after a while that we have made a U-turn and did not realize it. I know that as you are reading this you are asking where is the hope here?
Since I have been able to preach alot more I try to find hope in my sermons and to share that with the communities I am preaching to. So where is the good news in all of this? Well I think that the good news here is that what we are being called to do in our lives is to try and to be the best people that we know how to be. This is not to say that we can just him and hah and say well this is the best I know; absolutely not. But rather we will need to learn and continue to discern in our journeys. Sometimes we follow the signs on the road and learn something good or bad but we are learning. I do not think that John the Baptist was telling us that we need to straighten every road that we encounter but rather to work on those roads that we can; and know that we are doing what we can. No matter the journey I hold on to the hope in my heart that no matter the journey that I will arrive and that this journey will teach me alot and that this journey will help me to live into my happiness while I am on this journey and not just at the end of the journey.
I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year I am going to try to post more but to be honest I dont know when I will have the time to.
Thank you again so much for continued love and support of me and Matthew in this process and know that all of you are in my prayers.